February 7, 2011

Don't be offended this is all my opinion, ain't nothing that I'm saying law.....

Hey all! Thanks for your comments on the review for Peggy Orenstein's newst book! It seems that many of us agree and children's play should be diverse. I really did not want to debate the topic again. I allow princess play and we do have a few Disney dresses. But we also have trucks and blocks and a sandbox. We have a large aray of toys and games and use our imaginations to be and do LOTS of things... and YES that sometimes means we pretend to be princesses.

I did not post this review to sway anyone to "my" side and it seems {though I haven't read it yet} that Peggy doesn't try to sway anyone either. I just thought maybe some of the mommies and daddies who might share my concern and are taking steps to diversify our daughters play might like to know that we are not alone. While it seems {to me} that there is an army of princesses out there and I may well be out numbered. My concerns are valid and it's okay to do what I feel is right for my daughters. Just as it is okay for any other parent to allow their daughter to spend her childhood in nothing but princess gowns waiting for her prince charming. If that is what they feel is right for their daughter, that is their right as a parent. I don't judge I am too wrapped up in trying to make good choices for my family and trying to teach my girls how to make good choices for themselves. Just like I am sure you all are too.
This is simply a different perspective on the whole play time topic/debate and children. There are studies out there that talk about gender toys and gender neutral toys and I find it all very interesting.  I know that in my childhood home I was outside in the dirt building tree-forts with my father and having crab-apple fights with the boys next door and my younger brother was inside cooking, cleaning and having tea-parties with my mother.
The truth is this simple. I find the whole psychology behind all of this interesting. I beleive that a girl who spends all day everyday in princess dresses and pretending that she is locked in a tower waiting to be rescued CAN grow up to be come a Fortune 500 CEO. In my home I just prefer to embrace the idea that boys can play with dolls and girls can play with trucks.  I would like for my daughters to never say or think "That's a boys/girls job". So I choose to limit this princess exposure and to steer the pretend princess play into stories where our cat is the prince and he needs to be rescued from the dragon. And I like slaying dragons. I don't want to sit on the sidelines and watch the boys have all the fun. I want to wrestle gators and climb Mt. Everest and explore the jungles of the world. And IF Gigi and Lula want to make mud pies in princess dresses THAT would be fine with me!
So, I have to leave you all with this.... This has been my Gigi and Lula anthem since the girls were born. I am a left thinking liberal women and I have LOVED this song since it was first released {*ahem* back when I was in high school  *yikes*} my favorite verse...
Am I less of a lady if I don't wear pantyhose?
My mama said a lady ain't what she wears but, what she knows
But, I've drawn a conclusion, it's all an illusion, confusion's the name of the game
A misconception, a vast deception
Something's gotta change
But, Don't be offended this is all my opinion
ain't nothing that I'm sayin law
This is a true confession of a life learned lesson I was sent here to share with y'all
So get in where you fit in go on and shine
Clear your mind, now's the time
Put your salt on the shelf
Go on and love yourself
'Cuz everything's gonna be all right
~India Arie {Video}




Anonymous said...

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!! I am alot like you!! All my boys had baby dolls...I do want them to be good daddys if they choose to be daddys!! I have let them be individuals not everyone has agreed with that. I choose to pick my battles as long as they are kind and respectful yes they can have green hair. Anything ireversable has to wait until 18!!And a boys and girls are different in a lot of ways but one no better than the other. We are all individuals. I have a rocker that loves to go against the grain, a sensitive brilliant tap dancer who loves collared shirts! And a sneakers jeans and hooded sweatshirt loves sports. We gave them all the same options and let them choose. And Lilli has yet to choose but I am excited to see what direction she takes us in!!!! MEGAN

mwr2sbr said...

Love it Shelbi! 'Cuz everything's gonna be alright! <3

mwr2sbr said...

Okay, so I just had to add this tid-bit of new found info. My girls recently got new Barbies for x-mas, the other day we were switching dresses off of one of them and onto an older Barbie that has been around the house for ages... IT DID NOT FIT! The new Barbies are WAY skinnier! With bigger heads, bobble headed, anorexic, Barbie Dolls! Ugh! Like Barbie wasn't ill proportioned enough already!So while I don't make a stink about most of this nonsense with the overtly feminine influences etc... etc... I am disturbed by the idea that Barbie has gone even futher into the realm of unrealistic beauty imagery, and that my little girls LOVE HER! WTF Mattel??!!

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