January 25, 2011

It's blueberries Mommy......

It's 10 o'clock at night. The girls and I are pulled over on the shoulder of a dark, back road. My hazards are blinking and the dome light is barely making me feel safe or aware of the full extent of what was unfolding in the back seat. Both the front and rear driver side doors are wide open. Cars are whizzing by too fast and too close for comfort.  I have one eye on the traffic coming upon us and the other on the girls. Lula is softly saying "It's okay, it's okay" as I am frantically trying to find something for Gigi while trying not to further upset her. Fully aware that I am, in my exhaustion, failing to comfort her. I am spiraling.  At this point pulling her out of the car is no longer an option and even if it were it's becoming more and more clear that no matter how far I've pulled off the road, this might not be all that safe. 

"Oh, Gigi, I am so sorry....It's okay.  You're okay. I'm right here......It's okay honey, just relax....You're okay..... What did you eat that was red?"
--It's blueberries mommy..... Gag, Choke, more vomit.

It's 6pm and the girls are getting into their chairs for dinner.  We've been babysitting Addie and Turner all day. The girls are coming off 8 days of sickness, lingering, unidentified sickness.  It's only today that I realize maybe it's croup.... And we are all tired and a bit cranky. Lula is choking, barking and wheezing. Gigi is crying that her ear hurts; said she got hit with the playhouse door.  It occurs to me.... I babysat all day and will be doing so all day tomorrow too. If my girls need to see a doctor it's tonight or tomorrow night, tomorrow during the day is not an option. So after about 30 minutes of hemming and hawing and recalling the horror stories of how croup seems to turn on a dime for the worse. I decide to pack them up and go Urgent Care.

Three hours, two tired, cranky, sick kids and a million hand washing later.... Lula's lungs are clear, but Gigi has a "nasty" ear infection. Against her will, Gigi gets a few ear drops a prescription for antibiotics and we are finally on our way home.  I am loading the girls into the car and Gigi tells me her tummy hurts. To which I respond, because I am tired and cranky; "It's just because you're hungry. You didn't eat any dinner. I'll get you some milk when we get home and you'll feel better." 

I have to admit, somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that we might be about to have a problem... hindsight....20/20.

More than halfway home. On a dark back road. No longer in a residential area. One side of the road, desert. The other, a concrete "factory/truck yard/quarry" for lack of a better description.  I hear it.... "Oh no.... {GAG}"  ....   Pulling over - "Okay honey. Okay. I'm pulling over. Hang on. It's okay."

Grabbing a sweatshirt of mine off the floor of the car, it's the only think I can think to do. Catch the vomit in something. It's not only clear that it's too late to take her out of the car to be sick, she's already been sick all over herself. It's obvious now that it is not even safe for me to be standing outside her door, let alone the two of us on the side of the road.  Lula's comforting, Gigi's trying with everything she's got to be brave and I am frantic. And I know I am frantic. And I don't want to be frantic, but the more I try to make myself sound calm and reassuring, the less calm and reassuring I sound. "Oh, Gigi, I am so sorry." Then I notice, in the dim light she's vomiting red......

What's red? Why red? "It's okay." She didn't eat or drink anything red. It is blood? "You're okay. I'm right here." It can't be blood. I can't see anything in this damn light!  "It's okay honey, just relax." What is going on? Sh*t that car was close! Can't they see me here?? She had grilled cheese for lunch and a chicken nugget and a few tater-tots but nothing red. She's had water and chocolate milk all day. No juice... "you're okay. " ...nothing red, what's red? What did you eat that's red?

That's when I hear this little voice say to me "It's blueberries mommy..." and that's when I realize, that dialogue I was having in my head. All the you're okay, it's okay..... In the middle of all that I didn't just think "What did you eat that was red." I actually said that aloud...

My poor baby.... Not only was she traumatized by getting sick... The poor thing knew she was throwing up blueberries.... :(


1 comment:

Shannon said...

Oh no. So sorry Shelbi. It really is a good thing you said it out loud though. I mean, at least now you know the answer. You could have possibly ended up getting really upset...red would have freaked me out a little I must admit. I sure hope your little ones feel better soon. So many of my friends have sick little ones and it is just so sad.

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