Who am I kidding? I try to be organized. I write things down; I leave post-it notes on my steering wheel so I don’t forget; I take my Adderall and even set alarms to remember my afternoon dose; I seek out new and brilliant ways to get and stay organized, but in the end my life is like my craft closet – An overwhelming pile of unfinished, shoved behind a closed door, half done, half baked, given up on projects. Follow through is not my strong suit!
I have been overwhelmed with my life all summer. I have posted about it once or twice and recently emailed my girlfriends to thell them I am making changes. I have decided not to continue on like this - I am taking my life by the reigns and putting an end to the chaos {or at least making an effort to reduce it!} and changing my never-ending mantra of “Stop the World – I wanna’ get off!” to… Well I don't know yet, but I’m open for suggestions!
Step 1: Schedule
I have a day planner, a kitchen calendar, outlook, a smart phone – time to put my life down in black and white – see what fits where – remove the stress of feeling the time crunch one day and the unending boredom the next. Okay – Now I know; overwhelmed and bored are the enemies. I can fix that! …Right?
Step 2: Routine
What should happen every day? {Besides breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, Nap, Bath, etc…}
Step 3: **ME**
Decide what I need to do for me daily or weekly to stop feeling like I am going to start screaming and convulsing on the floor – And to truly rid myself of wanting to hitchhike to South America and never return! {See… I liked that one so much I used it again! Thank you Dr. Phelan!}
Step 4: Plan into motion
I need a specific start date – a date when I know that I can commit to this new way of life. A date to look forward to, prepare for and…. Well having a date sounded so good. So organized – So empowering!
The reality…
I let my friends know that I needed to get this new routine and schedule of “Have To Do” things going before I could figure out when and where we could make regular plan. That I have loved hosting our Wednesday Play Group this past year but until my new schedule and all its kinks get worked out my play group days are on hold.
That’s when it hit me… I moved into this house July 13th 2007. The neighborhood was only half built at that time. The lots across the street were all empty and I had a brand new, 2 month old daughter. Only two of the moms currently in our play group lived here when I moved in. Of those two moms only one of them had a child. Her daughter was 6 months old back then. Now our girls are about to start preschool together next week. I have two kids, she has three… Times have changed -- 3 years ago we had all the time in the world and were desperate to find things to do – New neighbors, new moms, more kids – Three years go by and we are all so busy going off in a million different directions, we barely have time to stop and say “Hello” at the mailbox.
**Then I got sad…**
Okay – Schedule cleared of friends for the moment – write down: Swim Lessons, Dance/Gymnastics, preschool and Stroller Strides. What have we got? Okay – it all fits – I can make it to Stroller Strides 4 times a week!! – That takes care of the ME! Gigi has preschool two days a week, the girls have swim lessons once a week and dance/gymnastics once a week. So Monday – Friday our mornings are booked! Tuesdays and Thursdays our afternoons are booked – Now I can pick a start date!
Story Time, Play Dates, Playground, Pool, Children’s Museum, and Zoo… All of these things can be worked in after I get this new routine down!
** I’m starting to feel good! **
Start Date: August 1st
The universe had a good laugh when it slapped me in the face with my “plan” –I didn’t realize that I’m not finished with my summer babysitting gig until August 3rd. Although I can fit 3 kids in my car, I cannot fit 3 kids in my{chic but not practical for working out} Bumbleride Stroller so – Monday and Tuesday are out for Stroller Strides!!!
** Annoyed!**
What happened to my perfect plan? I was really happy about getting a fresh start in August… Here’s where every fiber in my being would normally say “Screw it!” It’s not perfect so forget it… I tried… Oh well… The best laid plan… and all…” I didn’t though!
So Monday and Tuesday are not going according to plan – Wednesday, Thursday and Friday will! I am going to figure out how to make up for the fact that I cannot get my “Me Time” in today and tomorrow. Maybe I’ll go for a run with the girls after dinner??
**I am a reed – I bend**
The reality is this - I want to do everything for my kids! I really do want to… I want them to have fun things in their lives like swim lessons, dance lessons and gymnastics. I think it’s important to go to the zoo, story time, the playground and spend quality time with their friends.
The truth is - I simply cannot continue to put my needs at the bottom of that scary craft closet and shut the door while I run around like crazy for my girls. I know I will be a much better mom if I do something – just one thing for myself and right now… Well right now, I could really use a good sweat! I’m starting to think that our running joke about SAHMs being the new Alcoholics is no joke! I think it’s time to step away from my glass of wine and step into my running shoes… Maybe my new mantra will be…
“I am a mother, therefore I am an athlete!”
** I can hear you laughing!! You never know… I just might be! **
4 comments:
So not laughing at the notion of you being an athlete! You ARE an athlete momma! I've seen you in class and you can kick butt! Love that you realize you need to take yourself off the bottom of the list - our girls are watching & we'd never want them to do that! Keep rockin' it, keep trying, keep bending, keep moving, & please keep writing cuz I love it! :)
I have faith you'll figure out your schedule! Once Grace starts school, that will help. (Of course, there will always be sick days and who knows what to screw with your schedule.) Isn't it INSANE that the kids are only preschoolers and they/we are already on the verge of over-scheduling? Now, I can understand how it can easily get out of control because we do want everything for our kids!
All I can offer is: don't skip the Adderall! Find out which tracking/calendar works best and ditch the rest... otherwise you're re-writing all the shit you have to do and that could be a one way ticket to South America, I guarentee. Keep trying!
Hang in there girlfriend. I am going to start my new schedule after the girls get in school. You have inspired me, so now I am off to figure out my plan. Thanks! Miss you!!!
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