I know that it has been months since I've posted anything. I think in my heart I'd hoped that if I stopped sriting it all down it wouldn't be happening. G is on her way to Kindergarten in August and Lu is all grown up.... It is all going way to quickly.
I am wrapping up my third session of
Body Back next week and was aked to write a letter to my daughters telling them why I am doing Body Back. I thought I would share it here....
My Dearest Grace Elizabeth and Lily Kathryn,
I am writing to you to explain why I do the crazy sweaty
things I do. I am writing so that you
might understand that as much as it’s for me, it is also very much for you, my
beautiful daughters. When I started my third session of Body Back a few weeks
ago I was asked once again to provide a photo. I knew from past experience that
this photo was meant to push me, to motivate me when I was ready to quit to push just
a little bit harder. I was supposed to
look down, see this photo and realize what I am doing this for, who I am doing
this for. In the past what is generally expected is a family photo. This time
however I briefly entertained a bringing photo of me taken at the finish line
of the Tough Mudder. I say briefly
because as soon as my brain processed the thought “Uugh, I look so gross and
out of shape. I need to use this to motivate my fat ass” I was struck by an
epiphany… Gross and Out of Shape? Fat Ass? I had just finished the Tough Fricking Mudder. Not just finished but actually
completed ALL but one obstacle. I had proved myself strong, determined and I
had faced some real fears head on and
conquered them. Not only that , but I had fun I was with your father and I was
among friends. I pushed myself, tested myself and discovered what I was made
of. WHY? Why on earth was I ashamed of my body after such a monumental physical
and mental victory? How many people can or even have done what I had just done?
What would I say, feel or think if one of you had just done something that
amazing and then tore yourself down physically right after? The thought
shattered my heart…And completely changed the course of Body Back for me this
time around.
I don’t go to Body Back or Stroller Strides or train for and
run half marathons to be a size 4. I don’t work hard to starve myself or judge
myself, my worth or my success by a number on a scale. I am so much more than that
number on that silly scale. And I still and always believe that life is too
short to diet. We make good choices in our house. We indulge in treats from
time to time, but food is not the enemy. Put that out of your minds right now and don’t
ever let anyone tell you that it is either. Food is fuel. Fuel your body right,
take care of it and you will never have to “diet” a day in your life.
Why do I go to Body Back? I go to get stronger and faster and to push my
limits… And then push past them. I go to hang medals and race bibs and orange
sweat bands on the living room wall so that you’ll know if you work hard and
set a goal you can do ANYTHING. I go to
show you my beautiful daughters that strength and beauty start from within and
that girls can do and be anything. We can be just as strong as boys and
sometimes stronger. I go because I have found sisterhood in motherhood and I
want you to see healthy female relationships so that you will know how to have
them when you are older. I go to get away, because as much as I love you and
your daddy and I do live to be your mother and his wife, it is important to
have time to just be…. Be alone, be with friends, be strong, weak, sad, happy, reflective,
angry, or one with the wind, road, or sunrise/set. I go to be free and better
and I go because I love you.
Never forget you are capable of so much more than you
believe. You are so much stronger than you know.
"Believe
that you can run farther or faster. Believe that you're young enough, old
enough, strong enough, and so on to accomplish everything you want to do. Don't
let worn-out beliefs stop you from moving beyond yourself."
-John Bingham
With all
the love in my heart,
Mommy
